This afternoon was perfect. I had several moments where time just stood still.
Spencer was sitting on my lap, I was sitting on the ground. He was working hard at a buckle and I noticed some peanut butter on his ear. I reached for his shirt sleeve, lifted it up to his ear and wiped the peanut butter off. I looked at his white shirt and navy pants, covered in macaroni and cheese from lunch time.
Spencer didn't seem to notice me wiping the peanut butter off. He continued to persevere with that buckle. His little lips pursed out slightly and his chubby fingers worked to push the two ends together. I looked at this messy little toddler, learning something new and focusing with all the focus a 17 month old can muster, and I was so grateful. I didn't want to be doing anything else. I didn't want to go start dinner. I didn't want to make that phone call I'd been putting off. I didn't want to pick up my book or turn on the TV. I just wanted to wipe that smudge of peanut butter off his ear.
It's moments like this that get me through.