It is not possible to get all our definitions from outside and maintain a spiritual integrity. We cannot look to others to tell us who we are, give us validity, give us our meaning and still have any idea of who we are. When we look to others for our identity, we spend most of our time and energy trying to be what they want us to be. And we are so fearful of being found out. We truly believe it is possible to make others see what we want them to see, and we exhaust ourselves in the process.

- Anne Wilson Schaef

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