If it wasn't clear from these photographs, Spencer loves bath time. He comes running in whenever he hears the water going.
I'm really excited to be going to Utah to work on my infertility and pregnancy loss project. I already have several shoots scheduled and I am so excited to talk to these people... to hear their struggles and see their strength.
I'm going by myself. Part of me is very excited. Sleeping in! Staying out past Spencer's bedtime! Eating out without entertaining a baby! Driving with the stereo blaring! Going to the airport by myself seems like a total piece of cake, enjoyable even! I plan to have a thick book as my carry-on and that's it.
But, part of me is very nervous. I know Spencer will be fine. He will be in the care of his incredibly attentive and loving father. I know they will have fun together. I'm over the moon lucky to have such a great husband. He not only supports me in my endeavors but sacrifices his own time to do so.
The deeper reason I'm nervous is this: I'm afraid that I'm selfish.
Is it selfish for me to take a few days off? To go do my own thing?
Logically I know that, no, this is not selfish. It's healthy. Time off (even 10 minutes) can do wonders to recharge my batteries. It's that mom guilt. I thought mom guilt was crazy, until I had Spencer. I still think it's crazy, but I get it now.
Just because motherhood is the most important thing, doesn't mean that it has to be the only thing.
4 comments:
I seriously loathe mom guilt.
Go and have fun and try to ignore that mom guilt as much as possible!
I've been thinking about this very thing for a couple of months, thanks to one of my literature classes and a paper I wrote on motherhood . . . I think you have a perfect attitude. I wish the world had more mothers like you! Enjoy your "Jackie time" - you deserve it!
Well said. However, your Jackie time isn't selfish...you are doing much unselfish good with your project. Good for you.
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