kati's story

 Tyson and I were married June 20, 2009. Having both grown up in large families, we knew that we would want a big family of our own. Knowing Tyson’s medical history of testicular torsion, we decided that we should start trying earlier rather than later; we anticipated a little bit of a struggle. We stopped birth control Christmas of 2009, and thus the roller coaster ride began.

Each month that passed brought about new hopes, let downs, and the reminding of ourselves that faith in the Lord includes faith in His timing.

After 18 months of trying, we thought it was time to seek medical attention. I went in for a physical and the doctors found that everything seemed “normal.” They told me that Tyson needed to go in and get checked to see that he was functioning properly, as well. The week of our 2 year anniversary, we received the labs results from Tyson’s doctor and found out that there was a slight morphology issue but that everything else looked “normal.” The lab sheet suggested that we would need to do an IVF with ICSI. We immediately began our search on Google to find out what that was. Turns out it is the most invasive and expensive version of In Vitro Fertilization. We were mortified. As young college students we were not exactly carrying around an extra $15,000. It was at this point that we knew this trial was going to be more than the emotional struggle we had seen thus far; it was going to be a financial hit as well.

I returned to my doctor and she seemed to think that it would not be necessary to start out with the most expensive procedure. She said that it would be worth it to try the least expensive procedure, Intrauterine Insemination, and work our way up until we were able to conceive. She then referred us to Dr. Foulk at the Utah Fertility Center.

From the first visit with Dr. Foulk, we were impressed with the facility. It was a small building with a professional and personable staff. They were ready to get going from the start. Since the timing of my cycle was not prime for starting medications or procedures, the told me to take an ovulation test and try naturally for the first month. However, I never received a positive result. This brought on a new set of fears. Maybe there was more going on with me than we knew. They began doing a slew of diagnostic procedures. I had to give blood many times to check my hormone levels. I had to get ultrasounds to check that my uterus was functioning properly. I had to get a Hysterosalpingogram; a procedure where they inject a dye into the uterus while taking an x-ray to check for blockages in the fallopian tubes. There were so many procedures that I never knew would be necessary for me. It was overwhelming but I kept reminding myself that the sooner we found out where the issues were the sooner I would get my baby.

I began keeping a journal to document our journey with the fertility doctors.

Oct. 11, 2011 - “On Wednesday, September 28, 2011, we had an Intrauterine insemination (IUI) performed. I have been taking so many hormones and vitamins to help make my body a happy home for a baby. They even had me take Clomid to ensure ovulation. Tyson and I are keeping our fingers crossed for twins. We have an appointment set to have a blood pregnancy test done tomorrow. Hopefully it will come back positive!”

Oct. 15, 2011 – “We got our results back from the pregnancy test – negative. I had a good cry. Tyson was so sweet to me; he held me and let me cry on his shoulder. … I had to call the doctor today to inform them of Cycle Day 1. They should be calling me back on Monday to tell me the new plan for the month. We’ll keep praying for results! We went to the temple today. I always love the peace I feel in the temple. I feel much more calm and ready to start the process again.”

Oct. 17, 2011 – “I have an appointment set to get a baseline ultrasound tomorrow morning. I don’t know how we’re going to pay for it. We spent all we had on the last go-round. I’m feeling a little bummed about the money aspect of things. I’ve been working so hard; I don’t know what more I can do. I have been picking up shifts at Orchard Park like crazy. I literally have worked every day this last week. Sadly, I won’t reap the benefits until the 25^th. I wish having babies wasn’t so expensive. I NEVER dreamed I would have such a hard time getting pregnant. I have to remind myself that faith in the Lord includes faith in His timing.”

Oct. 18, 2011 – “I had an ultrasound this morning. They found a large cyst on my left ovary. They gave me some birth control to shrink it down. They said that a cyst that large secretes its own hormones; which could interfere with the whole process. I will be on birth control for 3 weeks. After that, they will have us start the process again. The set back is a little upsetting. BUT, the extra time will be good for our wallets. We will hopefully be able to save up some money by then. We are trying to stay positive.”

Oct. 24, 2011 – “Grandma offered to give us some money to help buy a baby! What a blessing. I know it is a blessing given to us for paying our tithing – even when we only had a few dollars.” The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. We had not mentioned our money struggles to Grandma. We didn’t want to ask for handouts. We were trying to save as much as we could. But, we could not refuse the great blessing of Grandma’s offer. We were also blessed by a donation from my mother. I cannot begin to describe how grateful we are for our supportive family.

Nov. 12, 2011 – “My friend and I recently discovered that we are both battling infertility. … She decided that starting a blog with me might help her cope [with the hard times.] This blog will be a place where we can write our experiences and feelings. We want this to be something that can serve as a source of strength for us, as well as others dealing with infertility. Mostly, I want people to know that infertility is not something to be ashamed of. If people get a support system in play, they won’t have to ‘struggle,’ they will be able to live and enjoy life. The Lord has a plan. He knows what we need, even when we don’t know what that may be. He also knows when we need things – this is the hardest to accept. 

“I had an ultrasound the other day. They found a small cyst on my right ovary, but, it wasn’t big enough to cause any problems. We will resume trying! I started Clomid today. I have an appointment set for Monday,

 Nov. 21, 2011, to get an ultrasound – they will be checking for follicles. If they find what they need, we will proceed with an IUI on Tuesday, Nov. 22, 2011. Hopefully, all goes as planned – we are supposed to be driving to Denver on Nov. 22, 2011, to celebrate Thanksgiving with the Wyatts. I would hate to miss out on the Thanksgiving festivities, but we have invested so much into this that we cannot just abandon it. We want a baby so bad. We will do whatever it takes.”

Nov. 23, 2011 – “Two days ago, I went in for my follicle scan. They said I had two small follicles on my right side and one larger – yet still too small – follicle on my left side. We would not be able to do the insemination as early as we were hoping. You see, the plan was to have the follicle scan show good news and we would do the insemination the next day, and then we would leave for Denver the following day {today}.

“With the results from the follicle scan being different than what we were expecting, our emotions are torn. We wanted to go to Denver and spend Thanksgiving with the Wyatt family. We also really want a baby. I feel like this added test is a lot harder than some of our others. We really were so excited to see Tyson’s family. We are being tested to see how bad we truly want children, and what we are willing to do to get them.

“You better believe we are willing to do WHATEVER it takes.

“Yesterday, I had to get another ultrasound, to check the follicles. This time they found seven follicles. Seven! Apparently, the Clomid and Bravelle worked! Although the majority of the follicles are ‘too small,’ there are still seven possibilities of a baby. Maybe we will get multiples!

“We had to rearrange our holiday plans. We will now be spending Thanksgiving with the Poulsen family, in Layton. We are going to try to make it work to go to Denver for Christmas.

“Our new plan for getting a baby goes as follows: I will inject myself with HCG on Thanksgiving at 10am. Tyson will have to go in to ‘collect’ at the doctor’s office on Black Friday at 8:30am. We will go back in at 10am for the IUI. We pray that this time will be successful.

“Faith in the Lord includes faith in His timing.”

Nov. 26, 2011 – “And now we wait…

“All went well with the insemination yesterday. They were impressed with Tyson’s sperm count; 12 million. They usually prefer it to be at least 5 million. Tyson was pretty proud of himself.

“The doctor said everything looked good and went as planned. So, now we wait 2 weeks to find out if it was a success; December 9^th.

“We are keeping hopeful that it will be a positive pregnancy test. We have been saying our prayers, paying our tithing, and following the doctor’s orders. We know we will get our baby; if not sooner, then later. The Lord has a plan for us. We just need to be patient.”

Dec. 15, 2011 – “December 9^th was a LONG DAY! I went in to get my blood drawn at 10am. As per usual, they had to stick me 4 times before they got any blood. Oh, the joys of having small veins that roll out of the way of the needle.

“I paid off my balance on my way out and asked how long I should expect to wait to hear my results. They said I should hear back between 3 and 5pm. And so began the practice of distracting myself.

“As 5pm came around, and I still had not heard from them, I began to stress. I called in to follow up. The lady said that they were super busy and would call before they left. I tried distracting myself, yet again.

“Before I knew it, 7pm rolled around. I was really getting anxious. I called again. This time, no one answered. I heard the message say they were closed and my heart sank. I cried as I left a voicemail pleading for them to call me with results. Not knowing was going to kill me.

“So, I sent out a text to family and close friends. I had to let them know that I was not leaving them any more in the dark than Tyson and I were. Everyone was shocked that we still had not heard.

“I had told myself I wouldn’t hear my results for a day or more – since it was Friday and they don’t make calls on Saturday or Sunday. In trying to continue distracting myself, I went over to hang out with my neighbor, Rhianna. Tyson stayed home doing his homework. We were doing our best to stay positive and hopeful.

“Well, Tyson finished his homework and came over to play with Brad, Rhianna’s husband. We all said hi and got to chatting. Then, Ty lifted up his shirt. He had written ‘DADDY!!!’ on his belly – well, technically Brad wrote it. I looked at him and said, ‘This is not funny. You better not be kidding me. I can’t handle a joke like this. Are you serious?’

“’I’m not joking! You’re pregnant!’ he said. I jumped up so fast and gave him the biggest hug. I had forgotten that I left my phone at home, on the charger. The doctor called at 7:37pm. Tyson answered it and took down the doctor’s orders. He scheduled me for my 7 week ultrasound on Jan. 3, 2012.

“I cannot explain the feelings that Tyson and I are feeling. We are elated, absolutely grateful and humbled. We know that our Heavenly Father loves us.”

It took two years for us to receive the positive pregnancy test that we so badly wanted. Looking at the whole scale of things, two years is not very much time, but in the moment dealing with all the ups and downs, it was the longest two years ever. I am grateful for every minute of those two years. I cried many tears, but I also grew so much over those two years. I know that God gives us trials to strengthen and teach us. Tyson and I have grown closer and learned to appreciate the little things in life. We have learned that you must focus on the positive and enjoy the journey.

I am so excited to meet little Tessie Kate Wyatt. She is due to come into this world August 17, 2012. (I have told her that if she wants to come early, I wouldn’t mind.)

-------------------------

if you are interested in participating in this project, please email me at jackienorrisphoto @ gmail.com

To see more of the infertility and pregnancy loss project, click here.